You are here

5 Jokes From the Jewelry Industry

What’s Friday without a little laughter?

Here are 5 jokes from around the jewelry industry that should start your weekend off right:

From Alex Weil, president Martin’s Jewelry

1. A widow is talking to her friend after the funeral of her husband of many years.

“You know even though my husband was extremely wealthy, he was very stingy and a control freak when it came to money,” he points out to her friend. “He even had it written into his will that I had to spend $100,000 on his funeral”

“He stipulated that I had to spend $25,000 on the flowers, I had to spend $25,000 on the casket and I had to spend $50,000 on the stone,” she went on.

She then holds up her hand and shows her friend a new ring on her finger and says, “Do you think 4 cts. is too gaudy of a stone?”

2. A lady walks into a jewelry store wearing a beautiful large diamond. The jeweler remarks what a beauty it is and compliments her. She says thanks and says, “It’s named the Plotkin diamond but it comes with a curse!” The jeweler asks. “What’s the curse?” She replies, “MR. Plotkin!”

From JCK Facebook friend Rebecca Smith 

3. “I don’t exercise. If God had wanted me to bend over, he would have put diamonds on the floor.”—Joan Rivers

From the folks at Union Diamond

4. Men who wear earrings are reckoned to make good husbands because:

  • They have experienced pain.
  • They have bought jewelry

5. A lady entered a jeweler’s and said, “You sold my husband a diamond ring yesterday but it’s the wrong size”

“No problem madam, we can adjust the finger size easily”

“Oh, you don’t understand, you sold him a 1 ct. size, and I take a 5 ct. size.”

For more jewelry-related laughs, check out:

Register For

JCK Las Vegas 2017

Monday, June 5 - Thursday, June 8, 2017

Learn More

That is a beautiful pearl! I'm glad it didn't get scratched by the...

As much as I have my issues with Trump, this case does not seem to...

I had not seen this story till just now and today is Feb. 22, 2017....

jeez. The whole Trump family really likes to screw others eh?

Nearly a year on, what ever happened to Madison's appeal?