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The Engagement Ring Dilemma
December 1, 2006
With Christmas being prime getting-engaged time, I just got a frantic email from a girlfriend: Her boyfriend adamantly believes that it’s gauche and inappropriate for a woman to ask for a say in the ring a man chooses to present to her upon proposal. Since they already live together and have a pretty solid relationship, she felt comfortable telling him she wants to help pick out her own ring when the time comes to get formally engaged.
To her surprise and chagrin, he told her point blank that she was welcome to choose her own engagement ring as long as she was paying for her own engagement ring. But the unspoken message was clear: if he’s paying for it, she’ll wear what he gives her.
Terrified he’s going to choose what she termed “an awful ‘80s style yellow gold pear-shape ring” when she wants platinum in antique-type setting, she begged me for both guidance and “the name of a reputable jeweler who isn’t going to mark it up 800 times like a mall store.”
Torn with the desire to tell her to dump the Neanderthal and find someone more evolved, I thought it better to keep my mouth shut on that subject and just try to steer him/her to the right place to get her what she wants. And to try to disabuse yet another consumer of the notion that jewelry is marked up through the roof. And we wonder why jewelry lags behind other luxury products…
I suggested she call a wonderful local jeweler whom I’ve known for years and who has outstanding industry credentials. Then send her boyfriend off to the store. This jeweler is incredibly clever and will be able to guide the groom to exactly the right ring without my girlfriend being present--or her boyfriend ever figuring out they’ve talked in advance. What subterfuge!
It brings to mind a bridal focus group study JCK did a few years ago, where we found out that almost 25% of the women in the group were wearing a ring they didn’t especially like. They loved the fact that their fiancé/husband had picked it out for them, but they didn’t actually like the ring itself and wished he’d chosen something different.
How sad is that? An engagement ring purchase is already fraught with angst and anxiety, and it’s a lot of money, so why even risk buying something the woman isn’t going to love? Jewelers should never lose sight of the fact that even though this is a bridal purchase, someone is still going to have to wear it—which makes it as much about fashion as anything else that’s worn on the body.Be doubly sure to encourage the groom-to-be to find out exactly what style the bride has in mind for a ring before he buys something she’s going to have to grit her teeth to wear.
Posted by Hedda Schupak on December 1, 2006 | Comments (2)
